Femme is about being a babe inside of your own brain.
It’s about feeling like you are taking care of you.
It’s about knowing that you have assembled a team of experts – friends,
partners, chosen family, lovers, mentors – to go through your life with.
People who will see you the way you see you, and who aren’t afraid to set you to rights when you need a talking to.
Femme is about trusting your own conceptions of beauty, power, pleasure, and generosity.
If “femininity” is defined according to (sexist!) social expectations and separated entirely from “masculinity,”
then Femme is looking over its shoulder and laughing at all those rules.”
For myself, identifying as femme is not about adhering to any code or strictures of conduct. It is about loving my body, even when I am told I am too skinny or not in shape. It is about respecting and revering the women in my life without objectifying or essentializing them, but also without pretending that we are the same. It is about loving who I love, desiring who I desire, and not worrying about what types of roles I or my partners should take on in a relationship, or in bed. It is about dressing the way I like, and moving the way my body wants to move.
t is about making people uncomfortable in ways that I hope will make the world a safer place. It is about speaking loudly. It is about placing myself in a linage of other queer folks of all identities who also stood by their communities while challenging them to change. It is about remembering the riot, and never being comfortable with the way things are. It is about dancing and laughing, gathering and organizing. It is about feminism. It is about fearlessness. It is about always being ready to fight.” —We Are All Subversives: Femme Strength and Queer Solidarity